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The Most Unbelievable Robberies Of 2023
Some of the weirdest robberies and thefts in recent memory will blow your mind. Sure, they don’t boast big players like George Clooney or Brad Pitt, but that doesn’t make them any less insane. From the case of a dime stash worth hundreds of thousands to a lightbulb thief, 2023 has seen some doozies. Heck, even a 15-foot-long Dairy Queen spoon went missing this year, and we’re little more than four months into the mayhem.
Keep reading as we explore some of this year’s most mad-capped thefts (so far), and the colorful characters caught red-handed.
The Dime Heist Worth Hundreds of Thousands
Almost a decade ago, The Street conducted a fascinating survey of 3,500 American drivers. They wanted to find out how much the average individual keeps in spare change rolling around their car. While personal numbers came in at a mere $22 of pennies, nickels, and dimes, the grand total for all US residents tallied up to a whopping $2.4 billion!
Of course, some people bat well above average, as is the case with one truck driver in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Instead of having a mere $20 or so in change, the tractor-trailer carried $750,000 in dimes! (Yes, you read that right.) Not surprisingly, burglars couldn’t resist the temptation. A group broke into the truck around 6 am, absconding with at least $100,000 in heaps of dimes.
Law enforcement officers for the “City of Brotherly Love” don’t know how many robbers participated in the heist, let alone how they transported so much metal at once. But they did find a trail of dimes scattered throughout the parking lot. Apparently, they’re still tallying coins to calculate precisely how much of the shiny stuff disappeared without a trace.
The Case of the Vanishing Lightbulbs
When Evan Souders of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, first reported lightbulbs from his porch missing, it left many people scratching their heads. After all, the fragile glass objects aren’t especially valuable. But over time, their theft adds up, as Souder can attest. Initially assuming the event to be isolated, Souder replaced the bulbs on his porch only to have them taken again. And again. And again.
Finally, in desperation, he decided to install a security camera to get a better idea of what was going on. Within a few days of the camera’s installation, Souder caught the bulb thief on film. Footage shows a male perp who looks inside the home before grabbing one light fixture. A car is also visible in the driveway during the incident.
So, what’s the deal when it comes to the disappearing illumination? Officials still don’t know. But some people on the Next Door app have speculated it has something to do with drug use. What do local police have to say about the bizarre incidents? Dillon Quirk of the Oklahoma City Police Department explains, “This could be considered a police matter as it is larceny … As far as intentions, I could not speculate.” Hopefully, the OKC Police Department will shed more light on the subject soon.
Ocean’s Eleven Style Heist Takes a Bite Out of Apple
Seattle Coffee Gear recently became the epicenter of a bizarre and intricate heist to rob a neighboring Apple store blind. After gaining after-hours access to the café, thieves cut a 24-by-18-inch hole into the shared wall between the coffee shop and the hi-tech store, making off with more than 436 iPhones. All told, the ambitious endeavor resulted in a loss of roughly $500,000 in merchandise.
How did the thieves do it without getting caught? The crime occurred on April 2nd at 7 pm, outside of regular operating hours. Eric Marks, regional manager of Seattle Coffee Gear, explains, “I’m surprised we were the conduit for them to get to the Apple store. I had no clue we were so close or adjacent to them.”
Since the bizarre incident, Apple Store staff has moved quickly to secure their location by changing locks and assessing damages. So far, damages sit at $1,800. They may have trouble collecting the cash, however. As it turns out, the burglars excelled at their jobs, leaving behind no traces. Not even a stray fingerprint. Sure, these robbers never made it to “Sin City.” But we’re guessing Danny Ocean and Jimmy Foster would still give them props for ingenuity and execution.
The Thief With the Heart of Gold
When it comes to the case of Bonnie Gooch, a familiar saying comes to mind. A leopard never changes its spots. But that doesn’t mean said leopard has to lack empathy. You see, Gooch has a history of robbing banks. The 78-year-old has two past convictions. In 1977, she stole from a bank in California. And in 2020, she held up a bank in the Kansas City suburb of Lee’s Summit.
So, after her parole for the second robbery ended in November 2021, it’s no surprise she reverted to her old, thieving ways. This time, she went after a financial institution in Pleasant Hill, Missouri. While getting older hasn’t necessarily made Gooch wiser, that doesn’t mean she wants to ruffle any feathers.
Demanding 13,000 small bills via a robbery note, Gooch included the caveat, “Thank you, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Despite her worries about upsetting the teller, the would-be bank robber was in no mood to wait. Surveillance footage shows her banging on the counter and ordering the teller to speed up. Although she managed a speedy getaway, the wannabe Bonnie (sans Clyde) met justice two miles from the scene when police apprehended her.
A 15-Foot Spoon Points to a Mammoth Crime
If Paul Bunyan lived today, we’d have to blame him for this last crime. It all started when Phoenix residents noticed the 15-foot-long red spoon garnishing their local Dairy Queen missing. A frantic search provided few clues. More than a week passed without a sign of the massive scarlet Blizzard-devouring implement.
Nevertheless, residents weren’t about to give up on the beloved object worth approximately $7,000. Enter Michael Foster, 52, an inveterate Pokémon Go player. During one of his virtual scavenger hunts at a grassy school playground, Foster came across the colossal spoon. In shock, he texted a picture to his wife, explaining, “It’s the spoon.” In response, Foster’s wife prompted him to call the police.
After police arrived, Foster and a school maintenance worker managed to schlepp the big eating utensil over the fence. Next, officers strapped it to the hood of their vehicle, channeling an Aunt Edna National Lampoon vibe. What else do local officers know about the case? They have surveillance video of two men and one woman making off with the big red spoon before loading it onto a large flatbed towed by a pickup. The suspects remain at large.
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From Globe, For Globe - Pulse of the Planet
Today, we are jumping into a yellow submarine and going all the way back to November 9th, 1966, the day Paul McCartney died-or at least, that’s what conspirators will have you believe. We’re going to take a closer look at one of the biggest conspiracies in music history and break down some of the core elements to finally put to rest whether Paul McCartney is alive or if the man we know and love is just a lookalike.
Music’s Biggest Conspiracy
So how did this conspiracy come about? It started on October 12, 1969, while Russ Gibb, a Detroit DJ, was hosting his radio show, when he was asked by a caller to play The Beatles (White Album) and spin the intro from “Revolution 9” backwards. When Gibb tried it on the air, he heard the words, “Turn me on, dead man.” This revelation was all Beatles fans needed to scrub for any other “secret” messages throughout their discography.
Other messages were soon discovered while listening closely and adjusting the speed of song playback. For example, at the end of “Strawberry Fields Forever,” John can be heard saying what conspirators believe is “I buried Paul.”
Now that you know how the ball got rolling, let me lay out the conspiracy of Paul’s death and jump into the connections fans have made to support the claim through the music and artwork.
Here’s how the conspiracy went: Paul died on November 9, 1966. He drove away from Abbey Road late at night and ended up wrecking his car and never making it home. He was officially pronounced dead (“O.P.D.”) on Wednesday morning at 5 o’clock. The other Beatles decided to keep the news private, so the papers did not report the accident. The band moved forward and kept Paul’s death a secret by replacing him with a look-alike.
The Fan’s Findings
So how does any of this play into the Beatles lore? Here is what fans have found, starting with Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, the 1967 studio album. On the front cover of the album, fans noticed the funeral-esque stylization of the flowers with the band and onlookers standing almost in memorial. The most prominent discovery came when a fan decided to hold a mirror up just under the three main members of the band. The writing on the kick drum spells out what appears to be a secret message: “IONEIX HE<>DIE” read as “11/9 he die” with an arrow pointing directly to Paul.
Fans found even more to justify their conspiracy on the back cover of the album. For one, Paul is the only Beatle with his back turned. Secondly, In the same photo, George stares downwards and points his finger to a specific lyric: “Wednesday morning at 5 o’clock as the day begins” the time conspirators believe Paul to be in the accident. On the gatefold of the album, Paul is seen wearing a badge that looks as though it spells O.P.D. Fans believed the acronym meant “Officially Pronounced Dead.”
On their following studio album, The Beatles (The White Album), there are also other “clues” fans spotted. Similar to the strange phrases fans discovered when playing “Revolution 9” backwards, there was also a portion that revealed itself when played backwards on the song “I’m So Tired.” The ending of the song has John muttering what seems to be gibberish, but when reversed, it says, "Paul is a dead man; miss him, miss him, miss him.”
The Beatles' following album, Abbey Road, had fans reading over the contents of the artwork. The Michigan Daily likened the Abbey Road cover to a funeral procession: the Preacher being John in all white, the Undertaker being Ringo in black, the Corpse being Paul’s lookalike, and finally George, in blue denim, as the gravedigger.
The Lookalike
So, let’s get all this straight: if Paul died in 1966, who is the Paul McCartney we have seen nearly every year since? The answer conspirators have provided is a lookalike. Known by fans as “Faul,” is rumored to be a Canadian man named William Shears Campbell.
The idea is that Campbell underwent various plastic surgery procedures to more closely resemble Paul. Fans have gone as far as to analyze Paul’s facial features throughout his career, pointing out differences in his jawline and ears as proof that William Shears Campbell took over the role of Paul shortly after the accident.
Now, all this may sound convincing, but let’s go through and debunk some of the biggest claims. For one, John was actually saying “cranberry sauce,” not “I buried Paul,” and the “O.P.D.” patch said “O.P.P." and, believe it or not, was a gift from the Ontario Provincial Police.
Not to burst your bubble, but Paul isn’t actually dead, and really, this conspiracy theory is most interesting because it depicts one of the first widespread cultural conspiracies. Although many now consider the theory to be more of a joke and sensational, at the time, it was very widespread and even had The Beatles making public statements about the falsehoods.
During the tailspin of rumors surrounding Paul, Life magazine secretly sent reporters out to McCartney’s farm. In the November 9th cover story (“Paul McCartney Is Still With Us”), Paul added, “The Beatles thing is over.” Ultimately, it was clouded by the all-consuming conspiracies around Paul’s death. In 2009, Paul stated, “I think the worst thing that happened was that I could see people sort of looking at me more closely: ‘Were his ears always like that?’”
So, there you have it-from an early morning car accident to secret messages to a lookalike who underwent plastic surgery. One of the most interesting, less talked about facets of this conspiracy is that if the Paul lookalike were true, that would mean he actually would end up writing some of Paul’s best material! Let me know in the comments below how you think this conspiracy shifted the cultural winds and widespread prominence of other major conspiracies. Until next time, I’m Jordan Neese, and this is Ripley’s Rewind.
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