Around the World in 80 Days: 21st Century Reboots

Unbelievable Robberies

Move over George Clooney! These thefts are more bizarre than Hollywood’s version of a Vegas heist.
Some of the weirdest robberies and thefts in recent memory will blow your mind. Sure, they don’t boast big players like George Clooney or Brad Pitt, but that doesn’t make them any less insane. From the case of a dime stash worth hundreds of thousands to a lightbulb thief, 2023 has seen some doozies. Heck, even a 15-foot-long Dairy Queen spoon went missing this year, and we’re little more than four months into the mayhem.
Keep reading as we explore some of this year’s most mad-capped thefts (so far), and the colorful characters caught red-handed.

The Dime Heist Worth Hundreds of Thousands
Almost a decade ago, The Street conducted a fascinating survey of 3,500 American drivers. They wanted to find out how much the average individual keeps in spare change rolling around their car. While personal numbers came in at a mere $22 of pennies, nickels, and dimes, the grand total for all US residents tallied up to a whopping $2.4 billion!
Of course, some people bat well above average, as is the case with one truck driver in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Instead of having a mere $20 or so in change, the tractor-trailer carried $750,000 in dimes! (Yes, you read that right.) Not surprisingly, burglars couldn’t resist the temptation. A group broke into the truck around 6 am, absconding with at least $100,000 in heaps of dimes.
Law enforcement officers for the “City of Brotherly Love” don’t know how many robbers participated in the heist, let alone how they transported so much metal at once. But they did find a trail of dimes scattered throughout the parking lot. Apparently, they’re still tallying coins to calculate precisely how much of the shiny stuff disappeared without a trace.

The Case of the Vanishing Lightbulbs
When Evan Souders of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, first reported lightbulbs from his porch missing, it left many people scratching their heads. After all, the fragile glass objects aren’t especially valuable. But over time, their theft adds up, as Souder can attest. Initially assuming the event to be isolated, Souder replaced the bulbs on his porch only to have them taken again. And again. And again.
Finally, in desperation, he decided to install a security camera to get a better idea of what was going on. Within a few days of the camera’s installation, Souder caught the bulb thief on film. Footage shows a male perp who looks inside the home before grabbing one light fixture. A car is also visible in the driveway during the incident.
So, what’s the deal when it comes to the disappearing illumination? Officials still don’t know. But some people on the Next Door app have speculated it has something to do with drug use. What do local police have to say about the bizarre incidents? Dillon Quirk of the Oklahoma City Police Department explains, “This could be considered a police matter as it is larceny … As far as intentions, I could not speculate.” Hopefully, the OKC Police Department will shed more light on the subject soon.

Ocean’s Eleven Style Heist Takes a Bite Out of Apple
Seattle Coffee Gear recently became the epicenter of a bizarre and intricate heist to rob a neighboring Apple store blind. After gaining after-hours access to the café, thieves cut a 24-by-18-inch hole into the shared wall between the coffee shop and the hi-tech store, making off with more than 436 iPhones. All told, the ambitious endeavor resulted in a loss of roughly $500,000 in merchandise.
How did the thieves do it without getting caught? The crime occurred on April 2nd at 7 pm, outside of regular operating hours. Eric Marks, regional manager of Seattle Coffee Gear, explains, “I’m surprised we were the conduit for them to get to the Apple store. I had no clue we were so close or adjacent to them.”
Since the bizarre incident, Apple Store staff has moved quickly to secure their location by changing locks and assessing damages. So far, damages sit at $1,800. They may have trouble collecting the cash, however. As it turns out, the burglars excelled at their jobs, leaving behind no traces. Not even a stray fingerprint. Sure, these robbers never made it to “Sin City.” But we’re guessing Danny Ocean and Jimmy Foster would still give them props for ingenuity and execution.

The Thief With the Heart of Gold
When it comes to the case of Bonnie Gooch, a familiar saying comes to mind. A leopard never changes its spots. But that doesn’t mean said leopard has to lack empathy. You see, Gooch has a history of robbing banks. The 78-year-old has two past convictions. In 1977, she stole from a bank in California. And in 2020, she held up a bank in the Kansas City suburb of Lee’s Summit.
So, after her parole for the second robbery ended in November 2021, it’s no surprise she reverted to her old, thieving ways. This time, she went after a financial institution in Pleasant Hill, Missouri. While getting older hasn’t necessarily made Gooch wiser, that doesn’t mean she wants to ruffle any feathers.
Demanding 13,000 small bills via a robbery note, Gooch included the caveat, “Thank you, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Despite her worries about upsetting the teller, the would-be bank robber was in no mood to wait. Surveillance footage shows her banging on the counter and ordering the teller to speed up. Although she managed a speedy getaway, the wannabe Bonnie (sans Clyde) met justice two miles from the scene when police apprehended her.

A 15-Foot Spoon Points to a Mammoth Crime
If Paul Bunyan lived today, we’d have to blame him for this last crime. It all started when Phoenix residents noticed the 15-foot-long red spoon garnishing their local Dairy Queen missing. A frantic search provided few clues. More than a week passed without a sign of the massive scarlet Blizzard-devouring implement.
Nevertheless, residents weren’t about to give up on the beloved object worth approximately $7,000. Enter Michael Foster, 52, an inveterate Pokémon Go player. During one of his virtual scavenger hunts at a grassy school playground, Foster came across the colossal spoon. In shock, he texted a picture to his wife, explaining, “It’s the spoon.” In response, Foster’s wife prompted him to call the police.
After police arrived, Foster and a school maintenance worker managed to schlepp the big eating utensil over the fence. Next, officers strapped it to the hood of their vehicle, channeling an Aunt Edna National Lampoon vibe. What else do local officers know about the case? They have surveillance video of two men and one woman making off with the big red spoon before loading it onto a large flatbed towed by a pickup. The suspects remain at large.
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